


Bath Time

by orphan_account



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Freak Show
Genre: Bathing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-27 23:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2709833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's about time someone gave that clown a bath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bath Time

"Clown, I'm borrrrrrrrred."

Dandy lay on his puppet stage next to a heap of marionettes, all efforts to untangle them long since abandoned. In that very moment, he looked every bit the manchild he tried so hard to conceal with manners and expensive clothing. Twisty examined the sight, at once fascinated and repulsed.

"You're not living up to my expectations, you know," whined Dandy. "If you don't start earning your keep, I'm afraid I'll have to tell Mother. And she does _not_ like for her money to go to waste."

Twisty huffed. Why was he putting up with this overgrown infant? Perhaps he had some kind of sick fascination in watching a privileged man's mental state deteriorate before his eyes. Even though Twisty was a good clown, he allowed himself the pleasure of seeing bad people suffer.

"How about I give you a bath, clown? One must always make sure one's dolls are clean, after all." Twisty looked at Dandy like he had just blasphemed. _Well, why don't I give_ you _a bath? Did you ever think of that, you snotty little thing, you?_

"It will be the easiest money you've ever earned, I can assure you." Dandy clapped his hands together. "Paid to bathe, who ever thought of such a thing?"

Twisty self-consciously lifted up his arm and gave himself a good sniff. Well, maybe a bath wouldn't be the _most_ terrible idea right now. The clown shrugged his broad shoulders as a sign of consent.

"Excellent! Come with me." Dandy leaped from the stage and grabbed a hold of Twisty's gigantic hand. Before the clown knew it, Dandy was dragging him out of the playroom and down one of the mansion's many corridors. Twisty marveled at the seemingly endless rows of doors about him. Dandy himself had to pause a moment before selecting the right room.

"Here we are! The guest bathroom." Guest bathroom? Did they ever even _have_ guests over? If not, well, then Twisty could be their first. Dandy threw open the door, pushed Dandy in, and locked it behind them.

The opulence of the room didn't much shock Twisty, given that of the rest of the house. It was a sight to take in, still. Marble floor tiles, elegant clawfoot bathtub, stained glass windows that let the bright Florida sunlight flood through in a myriad of colors. The colors, those were what Twisty couldn't peel his eyes away from. Dandy had to tap him on the shoulder to bring him back to earth.

"I never much cared for this room," he said, lip curled up in disgust. "Too beautiful. I told Mother our guests would feel like our equals in here, but does she ever listen to me?" Dandy scoffed. "Anyway." He walked over to the tub and turned on the water, testing the temperature. When he was satisfied, he rummaged through a cabinet until he produced a bottle with a cartoon bubble character on it. He went back to the tub and measured what he thought to be the right amount before pouring it in.

Twisty looked around awkwardly. His train of thought hadn't gone this far. No, a bath couldn't hurt, but if he had to take a bath in front of someone? What's more, _be bathed_ by someone? He could just knock Dandy out, take his key, and escape, but something held him back. The water and all the bubbles did look lovely.

"I'll have to ask you to undress, obviously," said Dandy, interrupting his thoughts. "But I'll keep my eyes closed- gentleman's honor!"

 _Don't worry about it_ , he reassured himself. _It's not like he has any interest in seeing me naked._ Twisty frowned under his mask, or got as close to a frown as he could manage, given the state of his jaw. _Well, at least I don't_ think _he has any interest._

Twisty made sure Dandy's eyes really were closed before he began to undress himself. It had been such a long time since his last bath. He had been so focused on exacting his revenge on the freaks and rescuing the children of Jupiter, he had given little mind to taking care of himself. _It's because I'm such a good clown_ , he patted himself on the back mentally. _But even heroes deserve a bath every now and then._

"Are you done yet, clown?" asked Dandy, still keeping his eyes covered. "You don't want the water to grow tepid, now do you?"

 _No, no, I don't. Hold your horses._ An undershirt and a pair of grimy underpants later, Twisty was completely naked, save for his mask. His first instinct was to cover himself up, but he reassured himself that there was no need. Dandy really was a man of his word. So he felt confident to trudge his way to the tub and submerge himself in the bubbles. He grunted to signal to Dandy that he was "decent".

Dandy uncovered his eyes. Yes, there was definitely a naked clown in his bathtub. Well, the guests' bathtub. Whatever. From Dandy's crouched position on the floor, he scrutinized the sight before him.

"Are you really going to keep that silly mask on this entire time?" he asked. Twisty nodding vigorously, a warning look present in his eyes. Dandy knew it'd be best not to pursue the matter any further.

"Very well. Oh, but look at that makeup. That must be hell on your pores." Dandy took a washcloth and dipped it in the bubbly water, bringing it back up to scrub at Twisty's face. To his relief, the clown was compliant. After some effort, most of the makeup that Dandy could get to was gone. Save for some dark makeup around the eyes, Twisty was beginning to look… somewhat human. Dandy beamed.

"A vast improvement, already," he declared. Twisty cocked his head slightly. "Don't look so surprised, clown. You knew you were hiding a Casanova underneath that paint this whole time, didn't you?"

Well, now Twisty _knew_ that he was teasing. He avoided Dandy's eyes.

"There's no need to fret. I'm being honest with you." Dandy scrubbed at Twisty's neck and shoulders as he chatted. "With good grooming and the proper attire, a gentleman can turn the head of anyone he pleases. Myself, I mean to turn _two_ heads." He giggled. "The twins at the freak show. How my heart _yearns_ for their admiration! But I know that we are destined someday to be man and wives."

At the mention of the freak show, Twisty scowled. Dandy looked confused.

"What? It's not polygamy. Not quite, anyway. At least, I don't _think_ so." Dandy furrowed his brow. "Raise your arm?" Twisty obeyed. "Well, if the marriage isn't legal here, Mother can always take us back to Utah for the ceremony." Dandy scrubbed at Twisty's putrid armpit until he was satisfied, then went to the other side of the tub and did the same with the other one. "All of those cows she's introduced me to these past few years couldn't hold a candle to the twins' radiance."

Twisty nodded, pretending to care. Dandy paused, deep in contemplation.

"What about you, clown? Underneath all the grime and makeup, there's a person with hopes, dreams, desires. Tell me." He laid the washcloth on the edge of the tub. "Is there anyone out there for you?"

Twisty blinked. It really was a ridiculous notion Dandy had, expecting the clown to talk when he hadn't uttered a word since their first meeting. But that Dandy cared to even ask? Maybe he wasn't the rotten, overgrown baby Twisty had thought him to be. Well, there were traces of humanity coexisting with his rottenness, at least.

Twisty shrugged. He made sure to look into Dandy's eyes and communicate what he could with his own. Dandy seemed to understand. "You need a friend, don't you?"

Twisty nodded. But he wasn't at all prepared for what was going to happen next: Dandy pulled his shirt over his head and fumbled with the rest of his clothes, trying to remove them as fast as he could. Before Twisty could process what was going on, Dandy had hopped into the already cramped little tub with him. Twisty closed his eyes and held his hands in front of his face, but he had already gotten an eyeful of Dandy's nakedness.

"You'll have to pardon my spontaneity!" said Dandy, wrapping his arms around the clown's neck. "It can be off-putting to some people, but you, you seem to thrive on it, if I'm not mistaken."

 _This kid is nuts. He has lost his darn noggin._ Twisty gave a low growl, but Dandy either didn't hear or didn't care. He snuggled up to his fellow bather and laid his head on his shoulder. "Oh, clown, I need a friend too. The twins needn't know about this. We aren't even engaged yet. Why, we'll just call these 'the wild days'."

' _Wild days', indeed._ Twisty was almost disappointed in himself for not snapping Dandy's neck then and there. But if the clown had to be perfectly honest, he was rather enjoying the feel of another body next to his own. Was he experiencing what people called a "homosexual encounter"? He didn't know what to call his current situation, but he didn't altogether hate it. To show that they were on the same page, Twisty laid a giant hand on top of Dandy's head. He gave a few light pats before entwining his fingers in Dandy's dark hair. Dandy smiled against Twisty's shoulder and sighed contentedly.

"We shouldn't stay in here for too long, you know. Eventually the water will grow cold and our skin will prune up." A distressed look came over his face. "Plus Mother will start to worry. I don't think she'd be too pleased in my choice of a bathing companion."

Twisty nodded understandingly. He was about to sit up when two hands stilled him.

"Oh, I don't mean right away," said Dandy. He smiled impishly. "I'm sure Mother will be absorbed in her crosswords for at least a little while longer. There's still plenty of time for play."

Twisty raised an eyebrow. He may not have been the smartest man alive, but he was pretty sure the kind of "play" Dandy meant didn't involve rubber duckies. His eyes darted about as if he were searching for the approval of an invisible third party, and then he nodded again.

"Splendid." Dandy planted a soft kiss on Twisty's forehead. "And I take back what I said earlier, clown. You are _more_ than earning your keep."


End file.
